Divorce Or Separation
As of the time of writing, the rate of divorce in the UK is 42%. There are several reasons for this, with attitudes towards divorce shifting, such that some people even have ‘divorce parties’ But separation and divorce can be challenging.
This might seem like a silly question with an obvious answer. But there is more to it. Separation and divorce can mean many things to the individual(s) experiencing them. For example, for some these can represent failure, and for others, freedom. They can mean a difficult ending, or a new uncertain, and somewhat frightening beginning. For others still, these can mean living in a way that is more true to them.
Divorce is also a legal process in which courts issue a judgment or decree that dissolves a marriage and spouses are granted the ability to become single by terminating their marital relationship. Although this ends the marriage, it can be a difficult process, especially when there is resentment.
Communication is an integral and important aspect of any relationship. If couples cannot communicate effectively, it can be a sign of trouble.
If spouses are constantly bickering, arguing, or fighting, it can indicate underlying issues that need to be addressed.
When partner’s interests, values, and goals begin to diverge, this may indicate that they are growing apart.
Cheating or having an affair can be a major sign of trouble in a marriage and may be a cause for separation or divorce.
If one or both partners no longer seem committed to the marriage or are not willing to put in the effort to make it work, it can be a sign that divorce may be imminent.
If the lack of physical affection and intimacy cannot be attributed to other reasons, it could be an indication of deeper problems within the relationship.
Divorce is initiated by one or sometimes, both spouses when they have decided that they no longer wish to stay together. There are many reasons why couples can decide to separate or divorce.
For example, it may be due to abuse (of any kind), financial problems, issues around trust, infidelity, feeling as if they have drifted apart, problems related to children, wanting different things from life, feeling disconnected from one another, not being able to communicate, or other incompatibility problems and irreconcilable differences.
It’s important to note that these issues do not necessarily mean that a divorce is inevitable, they may be worked on in couples therapy, something we can help with if both partners are willing to engage in the process and wish to improve the situation and see if they can remain together.
Sometimes, however, even after trying couples therapy, couples realise that they are unable to continue together. This too is a useful use of couples therapy because it allows partners to see that they have tried everything before they decide to divorce.
Separation and divorce can be emotionally challenging and financially costly. We can help with ‘uncoupling therapy‘. This means that we will work with you to separate or divorce amicably. This facilitates the ability to move on with your lives and create new futures without the animosity and discord that often occurs during the process of separation and divorce. At the very least you can be supported to process your emotions, but also to perhaps support one another through the difficulty so that you might be friends or at least cordial. This also allows you to agree and work out practical issues in a more amicable and less costly way.
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- Parker-Pope, T. (2015, April 6). 5 Signs Your Marriage May Be Headed for Divorce. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/07/well/5-signs-your-marriage-may-be-headed-for-divorce.html
- Seymour, H. (2019, September 27). London has the highest divorce rate in the UK, according to census data. Evening Standard. https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/most-divorces-london-uk-census-data-b1062398.html
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