Major Life Transitions

This transition is a major one because school life is a very containing in many ways.  It’s a very unique time, and its uniqueness can perhaps only be appreciated in retrospect.  Indeed, this time is almost like a practice run for the life ahead.  When young people start college or work, the world begins to treat them differently.  They are no longer afforded as many allowances, and gradually they are expected to fully mature and be accountable.

This can impact us in various ways.  We become involved with another person in a personal and (emotionally and/or physically) intimate way.  A relationship usually also means changes in how we live because we have to consider another person, and our feelings can become dependent on our partner and how well the relationship is going.

When a partner cheats, they break trust, something that is not easy to rebuild.  The one who has been betrayed not only has to reconcile the cheating itself, but also their sense of self-worth and esteem.  And if they decide to stay in the relationship, they are naturally feeling less secure.

The end of a relationship is a difficult time even if the relationship was not a good one.  Sometimes there are material challenges as well, for example, the need to reassess finances and budgeting.  Also, adjusting becomes more complicated if children are involved, or if parting is acrimonious.

A child is all consuming and when one arrives it can bring incredible joy, but also an incredible need for adjustment.  Life is never the same again because we must consider the child in all we do.  For women, the arrival of a baby can also impact mood due to hormonal fluctuations which regulate mood.  There is also a change in the dynamics of the household.  Many changes.

When you’re used to having the kids at home, their presence is missed.  The house feels empty, and you’re not having to do as much for them.  Just as parenthood creates a change in roles, so too does the absence of children.

When a person loses their job or retires, they may experience difficulties for various reasons.  For example, financial readjustment, or because their work is so intertwined with their identity and sense of who they are.  A change in career can also be challenging for similar reasons, or because it is new.

Coming into money, or losing it are changes that impact life and how we live in very different ways.  Some people may not know what to do with money they are not used to having.  Others may struggle when they have to do without.  How we gain or lose money also affects how we feel about it.  For example, inheriting money, or losing it due to a bad investment.  Money can affect relationships and opportunities, so significant changes in this area can be challenging.

As people get older, they often say they don’t feel their age.  People become mentally stuck and as the years take them further away from how old they feel, they find it harder to reconcile this with reality – bringing about midlife crisis for some.  Ageing can also cause other issues, such as regrets about missed opportunities.  Others may experience problems with health, and loss.

If we, or someone we love become unwell or disabled in some way, we experience multiple changes.  This can be with health, body, sense of self, or finances.  This can make us feel vulnerable, helpless, angry, sad, anxious, and more.  It can also impact relationships and how others see and treat us.  There are many changes to contend with.

Losing a loved one can bring shock, denial, anger, depression, and difficulties accepting that they are gone.  We must adjust emotionally, psychologically, and mentally, but also perhaps in practical ways if the person was very present in our life.

Faith or spiritual belief can help individuals understand their place in the world.  For those who begin to question their faith or spirituality, there is often less certainty about the whys of life and this can cause existential conflict and crisis.